I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
