it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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