So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
