I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
