Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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