Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
nutella sex= disaster
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
