How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize