is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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