Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
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he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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