i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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