Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
