Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
