Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
