oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
