i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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