I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize