Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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