quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
it's like iHOP with fire
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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