I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
