You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
