I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
