I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize