I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I pour the whiskey from now on
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
