I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
