He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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