Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
