Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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