My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
