I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
