at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
