Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
