Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
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Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize