You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
