Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
