My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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