I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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