If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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