shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
