Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
