dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
