Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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