you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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