She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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