Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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