I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
