used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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