Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
