i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
