I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
