You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
