So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
