Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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