but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
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The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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