Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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