Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Less talking, more tequila
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
