Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
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Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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