I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
