Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
