Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
