They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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