You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
